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  1. Nemesis
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“nemesis” (s. fisher/j. jackson)
written on 10/10/16 in jacksonville beach, fl, right before hurricane matthew hit the coast

I stare at the ceiling
I stare at my phone
I stare in the mirror
I'm lonely, but never alone

'cause deep under the surface
deep under these bones
deep under's my nemesis
We share a body, we share a home

How do you win a war when you're the only one keeping score?
When you're the warden & the one on your knees?
How do you stay dry when you're the hurricane spinnin' over your life?
When you are your own worst enemy

'cause I've tried meditation
& I've tried to get by
& I've tried doubling medication
All it gave was a really bad high

You might see me smiling
You might see a drink in my hand
You might see a functioning human
But I'm an alien in a foreign land

'cause my mind takes no prisoner
my my mind's like the wind
my mind is the master of disguise
I think I'm good, then I'm gone again

So how do you shut the door on the things that you don't want no more?
When you're the one with the janitor's keys
& how do you survive when your nemesis is after your life?
When you are your own worst enemy